Barack Obama's Speech on Father's Day

im excited..

He is to be the President of the United States.. maybe there is hope

limbo land..

so its been a while.. ive been living a self imposed internet ban or more like restriction.. in an attempt to live life more. Its been good but ive hit a wall.

I finish Uni next year and the questions have begun.. 'What will you do when you graduate?'
and honestly my answer is 'I have no idea'

I am caught in a limbo between two lands..

The first is the belief that i need to change the world, and be heavily involved in environmental, and social reform.. This is a heavy conviction i have, and i want to work hard out toward this but this brings me to my second..

The second approach is that i am young and i need to enjoy this. Its true i am only 21.. and do i need to be getting too heavy with my life and loose my youth?? but can i do a life where i just sit back and work a pointless job

i feel a real sense of urgency about this, i mean if we dont make drastic changes now, more crap will just continue and the earth will fall into even more turmoil, but i dont want to loose these days of my youth..


agghh. why do i think so much.. sometimes i wish i could just settle for whatever, and do what all the other 21 year old girls i know do..

blahhh...

why do we compare ourselves to others..


why do i look at other people and want what they have.

why do feel inadequate..

why am i not happy where i am..


these feelings come an go, right now they have come..


i hate that i am not content with where, who, and what i am..
but right now.. im am..

time..

what i hate is the restrictions we place on our time.

when i was away traveling i made a few decisions on how i wanted to live my life when i returned home.. these were things like.. buying a bike and riding places, spending more time worshiping God without singing, have tea parties more often, and go out of my way to accommodate people travelling.

I can safely say of all those things and more that i decided i would do when i get home.. i have done none.

I hate that.. i hate that i made all these decisions out of my exploration of myself, and how i wanted to live and haven't followed through..

I know why this is so too.. its Uni..

I spend so much time of my life studying and i know im meant to as in a uni student but sometimes i wish i could just slow down a bit you know. But its not just uni, its everything else as well. My week is so full that i am scheduling people in to have coffee weeks in advance. I have every night of the week full of one thing or another, and work Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Uni Tuesday and Thursday.. and you know how fast weekends disappear, and i soon find out the week is gone..

This is not good when your at uni cause as weeks disappear so do days appear when assessment is due and your still not quite finished.

I must admit, i have been pretty good so far this semester, and submitted everything on time and to a standard i am proud of. And i also havnt been a hermit doing nothing, i have been to gigs, and spent time with friends.. but today it has just hit me..

I am over being busy. I was looking at a friends pictures of facebook today and that rekindled the ideas that i had while travelling. The ideas of going to the beach, and walking in parks, and painting, and riding bikes, and living life..

I was chatting to my sister, and i was trying to work out if i could drop something in my life to find more time, and she was saying, even if i do that i will soon enough find something else to fill that hole again.

I do love uni. I love that i have this amazing opportunity to learn, and the stuff i am learning i love, and i am challenged in my ideas.. but i feel i cant process this stuff, i am just running around.. learning learning learning and doing assessment so i pass.. But what good is a degree if i havnt lived my life.

I dunno, maybe wishful thinking.. better stop winging and write my oral presentation.

back on up..

So im on the train again.. (writing blogs is a great way to pass the time on trains) this time im leaving Budapest (Hungry) and heading to Salsburg (Austria), with a stop in Vienna for Lunch and sight seeing.

We have hit the intense period of our trip as days begin to run fine, and have opted to cover more ground and fast. In 6 days we will be in 5 countries, ending in Greece for a few days before I fly out back to London.

Since I last wrote I have been in Krakow (Poland) and Budapest. After Slot we made our way to Krakow and had a fun time there. We stayed at what has been the best backpackers so far in the heart of the city. It was on the third floor and had a great atmosphere. Everyone was so friendly cooking up big meals to share, and the staff so helpful, giving great advice on places to go. Not to sure about the European men though, very free in their dress code, with lots of partial nudity.. We got told about this awesome restaurant which we went and checked out. We ordered out perogi, and because there was no seats upstairs went down stairs to eat our meal. It was amazing little cellar style thing all dark with candles and so beautiful. I wish the sunshine coast had somewhere like that. We ate our meals, and I had a great Polish beer and it was grand!

We also went to Auschwitz when we were in Krakow. It was an hour and half bus trip out there and was a horrible yet amazing experience. It was disgusting, the stuff that happened, and the things the victims were forced to endure. The Nazi’s used the prisoners of the concentration camp for every thing. They were used for labour, their hair was shaved and sold to make material, their possessions sold or given to Nazi personnel. Everything was taken from them, so much that when the camp was liberated there was so much stuff still there, and it is all on display. It made the whole things so real to see a room full of the victims hair laying before you and within it all a plaited pony tail. To see thousands and thousands of shoes, all sizes including children, and all the suitcases people bought with them, unaware they were heading to extermination. It was so hard to believe that the paths that I walked and the rooms I was in was the camp itself. That so many people had lived in those rooms, hundreds at a time, and died either by the gas chambers, starvation, disease or exhaustion. They also had photos of many of the people who came and died there. As you walk through the halls it is so painful to look them in the face. With each photo is the date of birth, arrival to the camp, and death. They documented everything, its incredible, and horrible. We must make sure an event like this never happens again.

We had a great second night and met some fun people. Some Italian guys shared their spaghetti with us, very tasty, and we got chatting with some other Aussies. The next day I went exploring while Esther had a sleep in and found heaps of Pope stuff. There was a big photo exhibition with images of the past Pope, John Paul II and the current Pope, Benedict IX (I think). John Paul was the Archbishop of Krakow so was very special to the city. There was some more memorial stuff, and beautiful gardens. I went back to the hostel and then me and Esti set out to see the Castle and find the Jewish sector. About 20mins into our walk circling the city it begins to spit, then rain and then soon enough its bucketing down and we are getting soaked. There was no shelter anywhere and the rain looked like it was setting in for a while. We were close to the hostel so tried to get back, get changed and head out with an umbrella. As we got closer, and wetter the rain eased up and we were soaked and it was no longer raining. We got changed and head out for round two. This time we made it to the Jewish sector of town to see the buildings and find me a music store to buy a CD I want of a Polish band. By the time we got there it was closed. We had an amazing dinner that night at this great vegitarian place. We ordered this one thing which was like a sample of everything to share, it was massive and so good. We raced back to the hostel, and then back to the rain station to get our night rail to Budapest.

Ok, so a new day now. At the moment I am on the train (once again) heading to Bari in the very south of Italy to catch the ferry over to Greece tonight. It has been a crazy few days and ill try and catch you up.

Budapest.. The train trip was great as we only had seats but it was very empty so we could spread out and lie down. This meant we could actually sleep and arrived in Budapest ready for a big day ahead. We found the hostel and went adventuring. This was a crazy busy day, but very fun. Budapest is actually 2 cities separated by the Danube river. You can climb Castle Hill in Buda and look out over the two cities, it was great and once again saw this at sunset. Before this we went to the thermal spa and had a great afternoon just floating in the water and restoring our sore muscles. My favourite pare of Budapest was we climbed another hill and found the Fishermans Bastion, which was an amazing building, kinda like a castle looking out over the city. As I walked out on the ledge I looked over and saw the full moon, shining red. It was amazing! On our way home it rained again, and we got drenched once again, and after a 30min walk wet, we got to the hostel. The next day we head out straight away back to the station to train to Salzburg, via Vienna (where I began this blog).

We broke this day up to have the day in Vienna and the night in Salzburg, Austria. When we arrived in Vienna we ditched out bags at a locker and head off to see this beautiful city. After a confusing start we found the city centre and after a disappointing lunch (I ordered a Viennese Hamburger, and just got a meat patty) set out on the tram around the city. The city has a circle tram that goes around and sees all the amazing buildings, so we could just hop on and hop off. We saw some amazing stuff, there was big buildings everywhere, and were very impressed. We also found a 1950’s style coffee house and splurged on coffee and cake. It was so lovely, and my cappuccino had whipped cream on the top. After some more wondering we got back on the train to head to Salzburg. On our way to the hostel we befriended a Dutch girl who was looking for a hostel, so she followed us to ours. We got a room and proceeded to plan our days ahead. After hours of trying to work things out so we could go through Switzerland to Italy, we decided to can that idea and stay in Salzburg another day.

and we did.. mwahh hahah..

ok.. so ill catch you up to athens soon.. but for now.. just know we got to salzburg..

the mother land

so im here in england.. my mother land..

it has been alot of fun travelling around oxford and abingdon with my uncle and aunty and seeing the places my parents grew up. We went to a shop my mum worked in for years, and the police station my dad worked for.

its also been great to see places my grandma used to live. She passed away 3 years ago, and due to the distance i dont think i ever really processed it. I was never very close to my grandma, but it has been great to come here and i guess finally say goodbye.

I am spending this time just refreshing before i meet up with esther in london tomorrow, and then scoot on over to france..

\its bizaar to actually be here, but im trying to take it all in..

photos coming soon.

love kim

my table

so i decided as i woke up this morning how interesting the books on the table next to my bed are, and how the represent where i am right now. Let me list them


- 'What is Art?' Leo Tolstoy
- 'The Irresistable Revolution' Shane Clairbourne
- 'Punk Monk' Andy Freeman & Pete Greig
- Lonely Planet Guide to Prague
- Lonely Planet Guide to Poland
- 'The Hitchhikers Guide to the Gallexy' 4 part series Douglas Adams
- Bible NIV pockety sizeish
- 'My Utmost for his Highest' Oswold Chambers
- Study guide to the book of Revelations Greg Clarke


You could read alot into this list.

Not only does it show how i dont finish books, but i am exploring different genres.
I have the classic christian books, My utmost, and Tolstoy, with your future travellers book of Lonely Planet. I have the nerdy thing happening with Hitchhickers guide, and the activist in Shanes book. I guess im a bit all over the place at the momment and i hate it. Well thats a lie im just adjusting to my changes.

I went from such structure or well working 6 days and just doing that and being on Uni break to Uni being back and learning new things. Ive started 2 new jobs and trying to get the hang of that, and also change to having sarah live in Brisbane. I dunno i like consistancy in my life and how i act, and at the momment i feel kinda inadequate, and lacking consistancy.

tobacco.

so sitting here, listening to sigur ros, loving the beauty of Gods creation, hating the sickly way man has screwed up what life should be.
cigarettes:

i mean why? what good is there? i should get this out of the way before is get too into it; i have never smoked and hope never to (apart from a puff here and there).

i hate the adictive nature of it, the way it draws in people and leaves them unable to cope without it.

i observed a lady today at work whos first thoughts were to get a packet of smokes even though she hadnt eaten all day and needed food. i dont understand and i hate the way it has a hold of her. i hate the way it has made her weak and has taken priority in her life. i hate it.

i hate the way it is connected to politics. you cant deny the fact governments get a hell of alot of money from tobacco, but how sad is the world we live in that they use this and take advantage of people.

it is currently law that tobacco companys can not print the strength of tobacco on a packet of cigarettes in a bid to not show some cigarettes a 'weaker' than others and hence healthier. this is a big problem as it not only means the companys dont have to tell you whats in the cigarettes but also the customer doesnt know the strength of the cigarette. new, cheaper smokes have been introduced onto the market yet they dont tell you what strenths they are, so you have people guessing buying cigarettes stronger then they usually buy and hence getting more addicted.
i hate this cycle and i can only pray more kids dont start smoking.

i guess its the same as gambling and alchol. both create addictive non-essential behaviors that are financially and socially detremental.

anyway thats enough of me. if you want to real somthing really interesting.. cheak out an interview here of a man who i admire alot. aaron weiss from mewithoutYou.

brenda ann turner

This is my mum when she was about 19. [my age.]

?my mum is amazing.?

alot of the time i sell her short but she is so beautiful and passionate and not a deaf as she seems.. :D
i guess it wasnt untill a few weeks ago that it really hit me who my mum is..
she is my mum. and i have no idea what i mean completly to her, as i am not a mum. but when i truly think about it i think how could you not be so connected to somthing that grew inside you for 9 months and was created from you. i was once her little baby.
i owe my mum alot.
she was the one who taught me to be independent and always told me i could do anything i wanted to do, she taught me to value family and love God, she raised me to be the person i am.

i love you mum.

you are beautiful, but you dont mean a thing to me

well an hour ago i was going to bed,
but im not their yet.
i keep thinking of times i have lied, directly to peoples faces.
like the time someone rang to talk to my mum on the phone and she thought i was her for so long that i didnt have the heart to tell her otherwise and so i went along with it and kept up the act. what i said wasnt true and my mum had to later call up and say to the lady that she actually was talking to me (her daughter) pretending to be her (my mum). how awkward would that be.
i lied and got myself the job i have now. but you all know that story. i lied to people alot and i dont know why. i mean im not as bad as natalie portmans charactor (i have a mind block and cant remember her name) in garden state, how she lies all the time about everything, but i still dont know why i do.
i swear like a man in the navy, and i am constantly reminded by my sister i have a potty mouth.
i need to change.
i am ment to be a mentor, role model and friend to kids who are trying break into the christian life and here i am telling them one thing and saying another.
i need to get a good smack round the head and get my act together..
but will i change? i know with that attitude i wont.
freak. im tired, this is stupid.
kimm

*you are beautiful, but you dont mean a thing to me*

silence

so.. im siting here listening to music on myspace cause im ment to be doing my folio for computor based art with all my support material. im trying to find my insipiration for why i made the images i did.

i do this every time i never write down stuff or think about this. i just go ahead and do the final pieces and then have to pretend i did all the experimentation as i went. its yr 12 studio arts all over again. i hate it.. but im listening to good music..

i was listening to josh pyke "middle of the hill" it made me sad. i went and saw him play during my last week in melbourne with mhairi and sarah.. it was so much fun. we sad in a crowded room on the floor drinking beer and chatting with amazing acoustic music playing. a very very fun night. i miss melbourne so much. especially the people..

but anyway ill get over it and finish my assignment. yay for uni..
peace:: kimm