time..

what i hate is the restrictions we place on our time.

when i was away traveling i made a few decisions on how i wanted to live my life when i returned home.. these were things like.. buying a bike and riding places, spending more time worshiping God without singing, have tea parties more often, and go out of my way to accommodate people travelling.

I can safely say of all those things and more that i decided i would do when i get home.. i have done none.

I hate that.. i hate that i made all these decisions out of my exploration of myself, and how i wanted to live and haven't followed through..

I know why this is so too.. its Uni..

I spend so much time of my life studying and i know im meant to as in a uni student but sometimes i wish i could just slow down a bit you know. But its not just uni, its everything else as well. My week is so full that i am scheduling people in to have coffee weeks in advance. I have every night of the week full of one thing or another, and work Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Uni Tuesday and Thursday.. and you know how fast weekends disappear, and i soon find out the week is gone..

This is not good when your at uni cause as weeks disappear so do days appear when assessment is due and your still not quite finished.

I must admit, i have been pretty good so far this semester, and submitted everything on time and to a standard i am proud of. And i also havnt been a hermit doing nothing, i have been to gigs, and spent time with friends.. but today it has just hit me..

I am over being busy. I was looking at a friends pictures of facebook today and that rekindled the ideas that i had while travelling. The ideas of going to the beach, and walking in parks, and painting, and riding bikes, and living life..

I was chatting to my sister, and i was trying to work out if i could drop something in my life to find more time, and she was saying, even if i do that i will soon enough find something else to fill that hole again.

I do love uni. I love that i have this amazing opportunity to learn, and the stuff i am learning i love, and i am challenged in my ideas.. but i feel i cant process this stuff, i am just running around.. learning learning learning and doing assessment so i pass.. But what good is a degree if i havnt lived my life.

I dunno, maybe wishful thinking.. better stop winging and write my oral presentation.